Mind Grapes

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Superhero Theory

If there's one thing I've learned from the internet it's that there is always someone out there nerdier than you.. for most of you that person's me. So I've created this section of the blog to dump all my theories on things superhero related. Do I need an entire section for this? Maybe?

These theories are not always physics proof (if you are someone that calculated the friction of Santa Claus, you'll find fault here as well), and it's not exhaustive comic continuity, fan boy proof (if you know off the top of your head that Mark Bagley drew some of the issues of the Spider-man Clone Saga).

Smallville – 2 episodes in 10 years

I watched every episode of Smallville over the last 10 years. 10 years of a fairly terrible show but

with pretty good actors… well, most of them. Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum, John Glover & John Schneider were all excellent, but they killed off 3 of them. Erica Durance, Annette O’Toole, & Justin Hartley were good as well. I’m split on Allison Mack. Many other regulars that I won’t name were awful, but Smallville did have good guest actors.

The actors were really why I stuck with the show so long, and the bits of Superman lore. I would sit through 40 mins of terrible writing then I would ge

t hit with 2 minutes of cool Superman lore than kept me coming back. Any way, it’s tough for me to recommend this show to anyone even though I loved [and hated] it so. Instead, I’ll direct you to the 2 best episodes of the 217 (terrible batting average):

Stray (2002)

  • Main guest character is named “Ryan”
  • Ryan is a telepath and mutant. Both were rare in those early seasons since almost all the other supers were kryptonite inducted altered humans.
  • They played Five for Fighting’s “Superman (It’s Not Easy)” song as the closing

Booster (2011)

  • Eric Martsolf was a great booster gold
  • Blue Beetle makes an appearance
  • No weird kryptonite induced super villian
  • Clark starts wearing the glasses

And on “Booster” I think Tom Welling was the director. I think Welling only directed 7 episodes so he has a much better batting average than the series as a whole. Although, if you have never seen the show then these two episodes may seem terrible to you as well, but they are the best of the best. Also, the last 3 minutes of the series was kind of special.

P.S. Do you see the dates from those shows? I waited 8 seasons, almost 9 years, for the 2nd good episode. Can you tell I’m stilling kicking myself over this?

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If you could only have one super power…

People often ask this question as an ice breaker, or “getting to know you” type thing. It does say something about you I suppose, but I find almost everyone gets this question wrong. There is a correct answer..

Telekinesis (TK for short)

Now this is the correct answers for those that don’t cheat. I’ve heard people say “I’d be strong like Superman.” Then when I ask why they rattle off a list of things unrelated to strength… “do chores faster, not get hurt, etc..” Super strength does not mean “invulnerable” or “super speed” or “super leaping”, those are all unique powers. So, as long as we only truly mean one [1] power the answer is Telekinesis.

Telekinesis is the correct answer because it really is a single power that can allow for a number of “power stunts”. See MSRPG for more. A “power stunt” is a clever way in which you can use a power to do something that is almost like having another power. Telekinesis is really the ability to apply force remotely and it is controlled by thought. That means if you practice enough and can concentrate you can do a lot with that force. Here are some biggies for those of you who might have limited yourselves by only choosing one of these powers:

  • Super strength.Obviously if I can lift something by thought across the room, I can also lift it right in front of me. Why would anyone limit themselves to being able to lift heavy things they are touching? TK allows for all the advantages of super strength and allows you to do it at a distance.
  • Flight. Yep, once you practice lifting boulders, how much easier will it be to lift yourself? You might just start with levitation, but the more you practice the better you will be and could easily master flight.
  • Super speed. I already said you could fly, so moving yourself from one point to another really fast is already there, who cares if it is along the ground or in the air. With TK you could do either. Oh, and what is to stop you from moving your arm super fast? Now moving your arm to catch a ball (for instance) is limited to how fast you can think and not how fast your muscles can move. WARNING: This one takes a bit more practice because you are applying force to your body and could end up hurting yourself.
  • Invulnerability. It’s not true invulnerability, you still need to breath and can’t drink poison, etc. However, if you can master applying force in the opposite direction you could create a “force field” of sorts. If I concentrate on pushing everything away from me and you throw something at me it is going to bounce back. With enough practice I could make a force field tight enough to be in the shape of my clothes/body. I think one of the iterations of Superboy leveraged TK, having the force field tight around him gave him flight, invulnerability, and strength.

There are a lot of other things you could do. I already mentioned force fields, those could go around another person. If you trained hard enough you could even do things like generate heat (from friction) or cool things done (if you could master kinetic energy). Oh, and you could need to master some of those things if you wanted to fly above a certain altitude or run at higher speeds. If you chose “fly” as your power you wouldn’t be able to go very fast or high without another power to protect you.

What else were you thinking…

  • Teleporation? I can maybe get my head around this, but the danger of you teleporting yourself into a wall when you are first starting out is too high.
  • Invisibility? It’s just going to get you in trouble and without any other powers to bail you out you’d be toast.
  • Breathing under water ? Fast swimming? You think I can’t swim fast and create an air bubble with my TK?
  • Laser beams (or some other shooting power)? I can force-bast that argue.
  • Green Lantern’s green energy stuff? It’s basically just like TK but doesn’t work on yellow things.
  • Mind Control or Telepathy? Hmm, interesting. Maybe, but I still go back to getting in trouble and no back up.
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